Getting Back to the old me

What a week! I had an appointment with Dr. Prakash on Tuesday, and the port will be coming out. HOOOORAYYYY!!!!!!! I have hated this thing since the beginning. It's like a constant reminder of everything horrible. He didn't want to say that I'm cured, but he did say that there is no data to compare my case to. In other words, they don't know why I'm doing so well, but they aren't going to question it, and neither am I. I won't see him again for 3 months, then more scans and if they are clean I'll start seeing him every 6 months.
On Friday I made a quick trip to Dr. Crim's office in Dallas. It was one of those 15 minute office visits. He looked over my scan and colonoscopy results and said he'd see me in 3 months.
We celebrated Clinton and Jean Twadell's recent marriage Saturday night. It was a really fun night out. Chocolate cake and lots of folks I haven't visited with in forever. How great is that? We were sorry we missed Lana's big 50th surprise party. Happy birthday Lana! I know you all had a great time. I hate that we couldn't be in 2 places at the same time.
I got the sad news about Hilary on Saturday morning. She was so strong for so long, and fought so hard. We need to remind ourselves how lucky we all were to know her. I was honored to do the family flowers for her services. It gave me an opportunity to think about her, and say good bye.
I was at the shop all day on Monday. Joe got emergency leave, and got home around 5:30, for visitation. After the service on Tuesday, we had a quick lunch and he left to go back to Oklahoma. I spent the rest of Tuesday doing "catch-up" errands that I had missed on Monday. Finished the day off with Lana and a glass of wine on the deck. Whew!
My to do list today isn't as long. I just need to make some phone calls and schedule some appointments. I'm not feeling nearly so overwhelmed. Jack and Lenice are coming in this weekend. It seems like forever since we've seen them.
Please keep Hilary's family and Amanda in your prayers. Hope everyone has a good week.

Now what?

I have run all summer. I think somewhere down deep inside I've been running from this past year. I'm trying to put it all behind me, pretend that it never really happened. Get back to being me, BC. Don prefers to think that we are trying to get as many experiences in as possible, in case (God forbid) it comes back.

I still haven't started volunteering at the cancer center. I have my official pink shirt, and badge hanging in the closet waiting to go, but I just can't seem to do it. It's like the scars of what I've been through are still too new. I really want to help there, and I will, just not quite yet.

How long does it take to get back to normal? Physically, I'm good. I had a colonoscopy this past week. The surgeon removed 3 more polyps. That's good news, we stopped them early. I had CT scans, and they were clear. I'm still considered NED. So, what's the problem? This is where it gets sticky.

It seems like every time I turn around I hear of another cancer tragedy. Tony Snow, Leroy Sievers, the list goes on and on. But what really bothers me is the number of young people who are being hit. I don't understand, and I can't come to grips with it.

I want my old life back. I no longer want to be defined by cancer. I just want to be Annaleisa, and I know in my heart that isn't possible. This disease has changed me, and I'm still fighting it.

Last trip of the season

Our last trip of the summer was a quick one to see Miss Sarah. She's doing well, and we had a relaxing, and fun visit. Went to brunch with Frederick on Sunday afternoon, walked the beach, and had a few drinks with Carmella on Sunday evening. A little sight seeing on Monday, and then the big finale on Tuesday. An airboat ride. You all know, I'm all about airboats! We got to meet several alligators up close, and as we were coming out of the everglades, a rainbow stretched across the horizon to greet us. Perfect end to a perfect trip.